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This domain has served me well. In a lot of ways the title “i have been floated” will never stop defining who I am, and perhaps I will eventually find this to be a big mistake. I feel, though, that this year, this two-thousand-and-eight, should be the year that I finally stop floating. Maybe I am full of shit, generally I am, but I look back at my life and how I’ve lived it and see something different between the me of right now, this instant, and the me of back then: purpose.
Maybe I am being foolish, maybe what I think is direction and motivation is really just another hopeless distraction pulling me in a random direction temporarily until I see something new to pull me in another. I am, and probably always will, be an immature child in an continually aging body.
This body, however, is, indeed, rapidly aging. In less than two months I will be 23, and it felt like merely days ago that I turned 22. Where has this year gone? What happened to me in 2007? A lot, I will admit, a lot of things that opened my eyes to the things that I am capable of and to the things that I want for myself. The truth seems to be this: I want very few things, but the things I do want require a lot of work to get to them. Work that I am scared of, work that costs more than I have ever been willing to give in the past. I have wants and desires that stretch far beyond anything I have ever tried to achieve before.
So, then, I think it is truly about time that I stop floating through life, and start taking steps toward the things I desire. Is this growing up? Maybe, I just don’t know.
I guess I will find out one way or another.
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Sarah has been here for four days now. I think? This is day four. We’re going to Knott’s Berry Farm, which I am looking forward to since it has been a couple of years since I have been.
She wanted to lie on me while I write about us, but she’s in the shower. I find [...]
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Christmas.
I got shoes: One, two (in brown), and three. Gift cards. Pretty cool.
Sarah will be here in three days. I should be writing about that as it happens.
Everything is a blur. Busy, cleaning, working, seeing people, watching movies, listening to blues, catching up on Pushing Daisies, driving around, thinking of Sarah, wearing shoes and clothes, [...]
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Why can’t I just be allowed to be happy?
Why is it every time that I meet someone or something, they have to be so indecisive about me? Three relationships, now, where the girls were like, “Yeah, I like you, but… Uh… Let me think about it.”
All the arrogance and self-confidence in the world can’t prepare [...]
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I am not in a good spot right now. I’ve effectively isolated myself from all my friends, and I’m not entirely sure why. I quit smoking, which is slowly becoming less and less fun as I get more and more irritable and anxiety ridden. I feel jittery and couped up. I feel like I’m at [...]
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This is one of those things I write about just because Google didn’t help me AT ALL when I was trying to figure out which offline encyclopedia software was better, Encarta or the Encyclopedia Britannica. If you stumble across this blog post thanks to Google, leave a comment letting me know I helped you decide, [...]
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It’s been a while since I’ve written anything here. That’s sad, in a way, I guess, but I go through phases. I’m writing from a laptop, sitting at my friend’s house. That’s exciting, because it is my laptop, and I’ve always wanted a laptop and I finally came up with a justifiable use for one, [...]